Nails on a Chalkboard

That is how my singing voice sounds to most people. As a rule I do not sing. It is bad, really really, bad but my kid LOVES it. I sang to him a lot in utero, like when I was driving down the road belting out tunes or when I was listening to my 80's channel cleaning house. I guess since that is all he ever really heard he thought it was good.

I continued singing. I butchered "You Are My Sunshine" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on a daily basis when he was tiny. I remember one time him screaming bloody murder because he did not want to take a nap. The only thing that calmed him down was me singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" over and over again. Poor Chris had to listen to me sing for a long time that day. I am sure his ears ached for days;)

To this day my insanely awful singing puts Graham at ease. Last week he was fighting naptime. I went in to sway and rock. He wouldn't calm down so I began to sing. I sang any song I could think of. I sang songs where I just made up the words. That actually happens a lot when I am singing. I am known for not knowing the real words to songs. I just make them up as I go. Within a few seconds he was calm and a few minutes later he was sound asleep in my armpit. Who knew such terrible singing could be so calming.

I love that Graham loves my singing but I feel sorry for anyone else that has to hear it;)

Rocking My Baby To Sleep

That is my favorite part of the night. Graham and I snuggle down in the rocker in his room. It is dark except for the soft glow of the nightlight in the corner. He almost immediately puts his hand over his eyes and buries his head in my armpit/shoulder. Side note- he has always loved buring his head in my armpit. He started doing that before we even left the hosptial. It is quiet. So peaceful!

We sit and rock. I soak it all in. The yummy baby smell is gone but he still smells good. I sniff as many sniffs as possible. His arms are draped around my waist. His legs hang down. I can't even begin to imagine how he is comfortable but yet he buries down deeper on me. We breath together in and out in and out. He gets heavier and heavier on my chest. And right before he goes to sleep he looks up at me. It is the sweetst most rewarding look as if to say "Mama I love." It melts my heart everytime. All of the stress goes away and I am thankful. I know one day my little boy will be a big boy and will not want his Mama rocking him to sleep anymore but until then I will rock my baby to sleep.